And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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