You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
