Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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