So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
