it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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