Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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