Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
