even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize