summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
