"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
