I hate all girls vehemently.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
