I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
