I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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