Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize