That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
my poor anus
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
