Sry I called you an 8
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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