I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
