I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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