just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
