Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
