Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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