I'm going to jail i love you
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
