I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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