I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
