im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Who put my cat in the fridge?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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