We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
