I want to stick my p in your. b.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
