Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
