ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
