You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
