i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
