these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
