She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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