I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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