do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
