why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
