I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I supernannyed him into submission
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
