I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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