no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
