I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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