I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
