You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Help. Why am I so naked?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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