She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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