I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
