i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
