I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
