He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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