that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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