You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize