well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
