Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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