Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.

(1-810): View more from Michigan

either way. win, win.

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(813): View more from Florida

worms taste like bacon by the way.

(1-813): View more from Florida

I always wondered what they tasted like.

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(614): View more from Ohio

True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"

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(434): View more from Virginia

and she just brought her bike into the shower with her

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(714): View more from California

Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.

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(407): View more from Florida

Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral

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(503): View more from Oregon

I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!

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