Your mouth is God's brothel.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
