you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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