Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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