You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
