He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
