yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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