hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
