I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
