thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She said her name was "party"
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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