So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My pussy is not your playground.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
