There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
