I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
