he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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