she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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