How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
