Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
