So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
